Between the hammer and the anvil
by Aria Fox
Summary: Set during s4 after the world turns around her. Beka finds putting the incident with Tyr behind her isn't going to easy.
1. Default Chapter

**Title**: Between the hammer and the anvil

**Rating**: PG-13

**Season**: Set after the world turns all around her then all of s4 and some s5 spoilers

**Summary**: Beka finds herself with some hard choices to make.

**Disclaimer**: Not mine

**Author's notes: **This isn't the story I was going to write I have notes on a Beka/Talia story but this is the fic that happened.

**Between the hammer and the anvil**

* * *

"If you just lay down and relax Captain Valentine." Releasing a pent-up breath Beka settles back onto the cold slab while a very young looking doctor, too young in her opinion ran a hand held scanner over her stomach trying to relax or at least not move despite the walls closing in around her.

It had taken a lot of fast-talking to get her and the Maru off of Andromeda without anybody tagging along. After the latest throw down with the Abyss everyone was treading carefully around her. It was driving Beka nuts even Harper was being uncharacteristically sensitive she knew he was bursting with anti-Tyr sarcasm.

Days ago when memories of Try and her willful blindness when it came to men prevented sleep it had hit her hard between the eyes.

They had not used preventives.

Near panic she had run to the medical bay not bothering to change from her night clothes but the sight of Trance calmly re-filling hypo sprays had brought her to a dead stop.

Going in meant explanations. Of course Trance would not judge it was not her nature, she would just look at her with that calm all knowing expression and make Beka feel like she had been turning trade on some dirty drift.

She had to face this thing alone.

They might suspect the length she had to go to for Tyr's renewed trust but that was no where near the same as knowing.

Suspicion verses Proof.

A loop hole that had always served this and any Valentine well.

With a mumbled request for something to settle her stomach Beka had backed out of the medical bay and spent the rest of the night pacing her quarters. At a barely decent hour she had gone to see Dylan asking for a few days off.

Sighing Beka wistfully remembered the good old days, when exactly had she started asking Dylan's permission? Once upon a time the entire crew had just upped and left whenever they felt like it. Rev Bem's retreats, Harper's whatever's even Trance wondered off whenever something caught her interest.

The realisation that at some point she had become a good Highguard officer aka Dylan's lapdog might have made her slightly unreasonable resulting in Andromeda's landing bay doors being threatened if they were not opened in immediately while Dylan nursed a black eye. In no way had she lost it on account of the chance she might be pregnant.

Absolutely not.

Course set for the medical facility she went to with her more embarrassing problems Beka spent the next three days pacing the decks of the Maru. Even the intrigue of the drift had not enough to lure her away from the safety of her ship.

So now here she was laying flat on a cold examination table with junior probably not certificated yet doctor wondering how many ways she had ruined her life.

Finally the blue light was turned off and the doctor backs away from the examination table focusing on the wall above Beka's head.

"You can put your top back on Captain, join me in the office when you are ready."

Alone Beka slid unsteadily off the table pulling on her vest and leather jacket fastening her holster breathing became easier with the gun's familiar weight. What ever junior said she could deal with it even if it meant turning her back on Andromeda.

Tightening a hand around her gun Beka strolled with fake casualness into the office.

"Have a seat." Smiling pleasantly the doctor indicates the chair opposite.

Beka shook her head, "I prefer to stand." Giving him an impatient look Beka took perverse satisfaction when he shifts uncomfortably ruffling the flexies on his desk clearing his throat.

"Yes…well I'm delighted to tell you Captain you are in fact pregnant."

"Captain…?" Running from behind his desk Doctor Jack Laris quickly checks the pulse of the tough as nails woman now in a dead faint on his floor.


	2. part 2

Hours later Beka wondered aimlessly around the market.

Before she had left junior's office an appointment had been arranged. He had not been happy stopping just short of demanding she take time to consider.

Reminding her of her age had been a low blow.

But The Situation had taken on an unreal quality which for now suited her perfectly. If it were not really real then she would not really be killing it right? How alive was it any way? Just a bunch of cells multiplying she killed of more brain cells everyday.

Wrapping her arms around herself Beka shook her head at the excited merchant not bothering to look at his wares.

Entering a familiar back street bar Beka gave her order to the bored looking waitress spotting an empty booth near the back she sat down.

The patrons who had looked up suspiciously at her entrance quickly returned to their schemes and plotting. It was not the place you went for an after work drink.

Absently Beka fiddled with the bottle the waitress slammed down on the table.

Was she really thinking of raising a child on _Andromeda_? The thought of rising a child anywhere was terrifying enough but on a warship it would be a stupid move.

Kids Beka muse were nice in an abstract way fine at a distance but up close she had no idea what to make of them.

No it was better this way. Who had she learnt parenting from? Her mother had been a joke with no parental instincts and Dad he had been..so he had not been the ideal father but he had tried which was more than Talia had.

Closing her eyes Beka tried to push her old resentments away. There were more important things to be angry at right now. Beka scowled, Like Tyr he had planned this she knew it. It would be a typical Nietzschean move. The flaw of Tyr of all people deliberately planning on getting a Kludge pregnant was successfully ignored.

"So boss are the misha noodles still the only safe thing in this joint?" Jerking her head up Beka gasped some how Harper had managed to sneak up and join her table.

"H..Harper what are you…"Beka stuttered.

"Doing here? You know that's an interesting question that only mother Harper knows the answer to. If you mean as in here sitting in a dark dank bar with you that was all me, though Rommie helped." Taking a large gulp of Beka's drink Harper grimaced. "That's some nasty stuff."

"It's good for you." Despite herself Beka smiled at her favourite engineer's overplayed disgust.

"Nothing good for you ever tastes nice." He grumbled.

"So…" How exactly do you ask if you were being sent straight to the brig?

"It's one hell of a shiner you gave him."

"Trace hasn't….?"

"Nope Dylan won't let her."

"He's going to try an make me feel guilty." Beka said flatly "It's not going to work."

"Yeah I can see that." Dripping sarcasm Harper took another drink. "Beka what happened?" He asked quietly.

Shaking her head Beka sipped at the nearly empty bottle. "Nothing just needed a break."

"You're lying." Unable to face his hurt and confusion Beka lowered her eyes. A sure sign of guilt she knew better than to make but it was so hard to look at him but he deserved something.

Uncharacteristically Beka reached out clasping his hands in hers

"I can't..I..I'm not sure yet," Closing her eyes Beka tried again, "It's not a bad thing no one's after me I'm not being forced or controlled as soon as I feel I can talk without having an emotional melt down you'll know."

Looking uneasy Harper glanced at their joined hands.

"I know I'm not Rev I'm not good at this but after all this time I thought you trusted me." Feeling emotionally shaky Beka looked around the bar for inspiration. Baring your soul was something neither of them did.

For Harper now to be offering she could not help but be a little proud but mostly Beka cursed Harper's timing. Dealing with someone else's emotions was beyond her right now. Feeling lost on Harper ground she normal navigated without problems Beka could only thing about escaping the minefield.

"I trust you with my life Seamus but I need to figure this out alone." Snatching her hands away Beka briskly walked out the bar throwing some money in the waitress's direction. She ignored the hallowed out feeling in her stomach and the ice that seemed permently settled in her bones.

* * *

A.N. I'm sorry if the abortion thing offends anyone, story-wise Beka couldn't go from blind panic to being okay with her pregnancy. For my version of Beka obortion would be a strong possibility doesn't meant that's how its going to go

A huge thank you and hugs to L. C. Brotherton, Prin69 and Cazbarbj for reviewing. This is my first andromeda fic so I'm a little unsure about it.

I need some advice if no one minds Beka's DNA was used to create the Nietzschean race and Tyr is obviously close DNA wise to Drago would their child be like Tamerlane? A reincarnation but without Beka's DNA being filtered or Nietzchean-ised? Genetics are not my thing.

I've submitted prt 2 again I might have forgotten how to use the spacebar or ff screwed up could be could be either one.


	3. Part 3

Keeping her eyes peeled for any sign of the rest of the crew, Beka walked with studied casualness along the drift's promenade. It was soothing in its normalcy, the clattering of different languages, rubbing shoulders with people who considered bathing optional. For nearly thirty years this had been her life joining Dylan had given that life a mission, something to believe and fight for other than her own survival. In the grand scheme of things though her life hadn't changed. She was still the underdog fighting for her corner of the universe that corner had just expanded to include the _Andromeda _and its interests.

Beka couldn't imagine her life any other way.

Lost in her own thoughts, Beka didn't see the small, red, cat-like male until he plowed her over.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry miss," He rasped his voice barely audible offering a hand to her, "here let me help you up."

Scowling, Beka took his hand finding herself being pulled up with surprising force from such a small man. Stumbling into his slight body the light brush against her torso was almost missed.

Patience at zero and nerves snapping with unfocused temper, Beka grabbed his wrist roughly, she did _not_ want to deal with this now.

"Looking for something?" She demanded.

This was exactly what she needed a man stupid enough to cross her.

The cat man grinned, twisting in a way that would be impossible for a human freeing himself from her grasp. His feet touched lightly on her head as he sprang over her.

Beka watched in disbelief as he stood on the promenade railings waving her communicator at her before flipping backwards.

Rushing over to the railing, Beka stood on the bottom rung and leaned over dangerously, craning her neck at an awkward angle in search of the thief. She soon spotted his bright red hair two levels below heading for the south market slowly she smiled.

Yes, this was exactly what she needed.

Not bothering to try and follow Beka headed for the nearest dive bar.

Asking around always provided good info. That's exactly what she did too. After a good deal of questioning the locals, she finally found her man... and the couple of job offers she received weren't too bad of a bonus either.

As it turned out, Beka was looking for Rhen Vilia, a low-level odd jobs man who mostly hung out around a place called Volta's Tavern.

After a few wrong turns Beka found it. Pursing her lips she surveyed the area definitely not a five star establishment it reeked of sweat, booze and cheap sex.

Inside, Beka scanned the room and with disgust found what she had expected. Business had drug her into places like this before. In some of them, you could actually respect the dancers, it was obvious who held the power, and it was not the audience throwing away money faster than they had earned it. Unfortunately for her, Volta's Tavern was not one of those places. The dancer on stage wore a dead expression and bruises even bad lighting could not hide. Clenching her fists, Beka turned away, pushing through the crowd.

Seating herself at the bar, her back to all the activity, Beka coolly offered a generous tip to the burly barman wiping down the counter top. Before the man could snap it up though, she closed her fist tightly around it.

"I'm looking for Rhen Vilia seen him?" she demanded in a casual tone of voice.

"Who's asking?" He asked gruffly.

"Ambray Pier Point security." Beka lied easily.

"You're a long way from Pier Point." His eyes flickered around the room avoiding her gaze. 'A little nervous' Beka noted, she knew the difference between that and plain cautiousness. Holding out her hands in a pacifying gesture Beka smiled reassuringly.

"I'm not here on business."

"He steal for a from you?"

"Is that any of _your_ business?" She asked sweetly. Dropping his damp cloth he crossed his arms, huge muscles flexing impressively. Still smiling, Beka's hand dropped to her gun in equally obvious and posturing move.

"It's my bar." He said when he saw her movement.

"You must be so proud." Beka sneered, looking around. She hated this place and all others like it. She itched to snatch up all the dancers and set the fire to the place, making sure every one of its patrons were trapped inside.

Something inside Beka gave way, and for a beautiful second everything came into crystal clear clarity, as all of her fear and anger was given an available target.

Pulling him across the bar so their noses were almost touching, Beka snarled.

"Rhen's location now or I call some people who will bring this joint down around your ears."

His plate sized hand engulfed hers squeezing until she gasped involuntarily relaxing her grip on his greasy shirt.

"And who will care?" Through her pain, Beka had to admit he had a point. Most people, AKA those in power, considered that they had clothes, food and a roof over their head they were well off, comparatively. Hell, from her own experience she knew that was how the employees thought about it.

"He's in the lounge." The bartender finally said, shoving her away roughly. Beka held onto the bar to keep her balance. Leaving the money in front of him along with a lovely glare, Beka turned away tuning out everything that was happening around her.

The moment had passed like the tide returning to the sea, and her emotions had returned inward leaving her feeling raw and exposed.

It was a lot darker in the small side bar the owner had, in a fit of obvious delusion, called a lounge. In reality, it was a lot seedier, which Beka could barely believe, than the front. Her itch to burn Volta's down intensified because of it.

Small pinpricks of light danced along the ceiling giving the room its only light, so it took time for Beka's eyes to adjust. Luckily, Rhen's bright red fur made him easier to spot.

Suddenly, a heavy hand clamped down on her shoulder and, action bypassing brain, Beka's elbow connected with a gut. She managed a kick into someone's shin before being grabbed from behind.

Solid muscle lifted her off the ground, legs flaying in the direction of her first assault, Beka tried to head-butt her captor only to find herself lodged firmly under his chin.

A human, his bald head gleaming in the dim lights with a nasty looking fixed grin, loomed into her field of vision.

"I see the perimeter defenses are still in working order, Beka." Something in the familiar way he said her name sparked a memory but it disappeared before Beka could fully grasp a hold.

Resting a hypo spray against her neck, his nasty grin grew. He patted her cheek and, looking directly into her eyes, pressed a button at the end of the instrument. The quiet hiss of the dispensing spray filled her ears making the world grew gray and distant.

Snuggling deeper into the softness of her pillow, Beka's hand glided along the edge of the bed. Working through her sleepiness, Beka blinked several times and stretched, her bones creaking with the effort. She settled herself back under the covers, groaning with contentment. How long had it been since her last good nights sleep?

"Kludges." A mocking feminine voice called out to the universe in general, "Give them a little kindness and they don't care about the cage."

Leaping out of bed Beka searched for the source of the voice taking in the room at a glance, spacious, nothing heavy or sharp to use as a weapon, no windows, no visible escape.

Lounging amongst scattered floor cushions, the only type furniture apart from the large bed, sat a caramel skinned Neitzschean woman, popping grapes daintily into her painted mouth. Fluffing her dark curls, her top lip curled in revolution as she made an obvious assessment of the other woman.

For a second time, Beka was faced with familiarity but without recognition.

"Do I know you?" She asked, finally giving up.

Shrugging, the woman selected another piece of fruit.

"I suppose there isn't a reason you should, but I do find myself insulted none the less." Her voice was clipped and controlled but even from half a room away, Beka could feel the barely suppressed anger. "I am Kendrix out ofMorgana by Hadrian first wife to Tyr Anasazi of Kodiac Pride. I believe you had sex with my husband."


End file.
